Yarn Juggler Gifts

'Yes, I did watch three pay-per-view movies while you were gone. Just how long did you expect a ball of yarn to entertain me?'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Travelling

Football

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Arts and crafts

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"Do you have any knitting patterns for somebody who can only count to five?"

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

A woman watches football on her computer.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

To lessen the strain on their backs, many students are opting for the new Velcro shirts.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Woman knitting a washing line.

"Here's your sweater back."

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Cat Sisyphus

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'