Yak Appreciator T-Shirts

'The Russians seem to be retaliating. This one is being pulled by eight tiny yaks.'

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

What's an Imax cave?

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Laughing Zone Ahead

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

Florist. A vase for everything and everything in its vase.

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

Romantic Tree Carving

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

Don't you wish you worked in an office sometimes? No! Tree's Tree Nursery. There's nothing here to listen to. Are you kidding. Whoosh. Crack. Rustle. Thwump. Caw. Yes, but there's no ironic commentary. Are you kidding?

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

OMG.

Scot holding a heart.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Split the last one?

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

Tortured Plank

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."