Yak Appreciator Mugs

'The Russians seem to be retaliating. This one is being pulled by eight tiny yaks.'

Cats may love you, but dogs go all the way.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Laughing Zone Ahead

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

"I'll tell you my diagnosis if you promise not to laugh."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

Romantic Tree Carving

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

Medicine bottle - If symptoms persist, die!

OMG.

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

Scot holding a heart.

'I'd probably do a lot better if the teachers weren't set to 'auto-correct.''

Tortured Plank

"He's been like that ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

Smart 3 Piece Suite.