Y2k Conspirator Gifts

"Now remember not to give away the big surprise!"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'If this drilling goes on they are going to find my stash of Martian Dollars I buried as a hedge against inflation.'

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

"Are you going to the paper-shredding after?"

'Y2K compliance!'

"If they figure out how to clone humans, we're screwed."

New Year's eve plans!

'My backup special...'

Cat scratch fever

"After you read the menu, eat it."

'..And just how long have you two been secretly married?'

'Watch her, she's a whistle blower!'

I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

'Admit it, Crawford, this fish was already dead when you caught it!'

Computers - Best Before 31/12/99

Trends of 2000

"Tarnation, Sagebrush! Who keeps sending me these stupid, mushy Valentines, anyhow?"

"Good lord, Agnes, the dreaded millennium bug has struck!"

'Dad, cut out the middle man, Santa and get me the toys from behind the wardrobe.'

"It's a lot easier to throw someone under the bus when you have the app."

'Sign this non-disclosure agreement ? I'm going to use a secret recipe.'

Clearly, this pair were planning on getting up to something...

"I'm from the president's office. We want you to develop a truth drug."

Observe, Prepare, Act

"It would be cool if we cooked up a couple of these at your place where nobody could see us."

"Wow, grandma. What big video surveillance files you uploaded of me on my way to your house."

Translation: "Let's turn off the invisibility shield just long enough to freak 'em out."

"Do you really expect the I.R.S. to believe in all your mileage deductions?"

Evil Pusskins#4

"With all the hacking going on, it sure looks like a Russian spy-drone to me."

"When you were in the kitchen, we voted for no more spinach or broccoli!"

We have your dog