Y'all Enthusiast Pillows

'I'm learning to say Y'all and I like Grits.'

Welcome to the Team

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I started a collection!"

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

'You're out of '50 Great Years of Mindless Consumerism?' How about 'Celebrating America's Shopping Malls?' That one, too?'

"My name is Bob and I'm looking for a 'Yesirree' man."

'We're dangerous when we shop. We're really really dangerous when we don't shop.'

You're my Statue of Liberty

"Read this. It's a draft of a novel I'm writing fro the young adult market. I want to make sure there's absolutely nothing in it you can relate to."

Internet Name Tags.

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

Giant 'NO' with a small man holding a 'Yes',

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

'Your operation is delayed for a couple of hours... there's a big sale at the mall down the street and all the nurses are down there.'

Internet Addict Anonymous

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"Oh, vowels are so 2019!"

Geography. And there's another continent, Antartica, on the very bottom. How cool is that?!

"Do I need to remind you that I have a huge Internet following?"

"My religion? I'm a consumerist, first reformed midwest synod. We pray facing the Mall of America."

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Of course I love you . . . didn't you see my Twitter feed?"

Gracie can't sleep by counting sheep so she sleeps by counting A+ grades.

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

'I and my Blog'

'I'm going to need backup on two. 'The situation' is escalating.'

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

"I can't believe we're doing this."