Xmas Experimental Chef T-Shirts

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

The Inexperienced Cook

Tzatzikicicle

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"Are you outta your gourd?!!"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

Cooking with Wine: "Oops! Almost split some in the food."

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

But I followed the recipe exactly.

Onion Guillotine

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

"Who had the rainforest vinaigrette?"

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'It's stew with a difference tonight - I've fried it.'

Endangered Entrees