Christmas Morning Chef T-Shirts

"You're late!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Turkey Autopsy

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"I hear you helped make the stuffing. I like raisins."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

Making Christmas Pudding.

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

"Breakfast hero I presume?"

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Huge Christmas Pudding

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

I love Sprouts

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"Apart from writing your new cookery book what else have you been up to?"

Christmas canape?

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

"It's a fruitcake, not a catchall."

"Does anyone have a little corner left for a mince pie?"

How to have the perfect Holiday Turkey!

The lifecycle of thanksgiving leftovers

"When you thank god for this meal, put in a good word for your mother too."