Holiday Chef T-Shirts

'I vote we throw caution to the wind.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Does anyone have a little corner left for a mince pie?"

"For Thanksgiving, I'm making a giant pot of arroz con pollo!"

'I'll celebrate Christmas in a supermarket and you?'

"Tia Carmen is working hard to make Thanksgiving dinner extra special for you two. I've never seen her do this...for anybody! It goes against every traditional bone in her body! I hope you appreciate her sacrifice."

"Yeah...cut my thumb...never could carve a turkey!"

"Of course our house is politically divided, but this is about white meat versus dark."

"Does anybody want some pumpkin pie with their politics?"

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"I've already plucked and stuffed the Christmas turkey."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for lunch?"

Scot with a turkey at Christmas.

Brussels Sprouts

"When you thank god for this meal, put in a good word for your mother too."

Huge Christmas Pudding

"For keyhole turkey carving we use a 12 mm port in each flank and third in the midline."

How to have the perfect Holiday Turkey!

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

Giving the pud a lucky stir.

Turkey sandwiches.

Mouse with Christmas Cake

'We won't be having this turkey until next Thanksgiving. It says 'thaw out for 1 year'.'

Stuffing the turkey.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

Blowing out the Christmas Pudding.

"Thanksgiving must be really important. It's the only time Mom buys something too big for the microwave."

Monday. Grab what you can for dinner. I'm shopping for Thanksgiving! Tuesday. I didn't pack your lunches. I'm fixing cranberry relish. Wednesday. Shoo! I'm making the pies! I know how the pilgrims felt. I'm starving!

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."