Xmas Evolutionist Gifts

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I hate all holidays!'

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

Surgeon carving a chicken/turkey.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

"Gold ended the day on a new high, while frankincense and myrrh both opened well but faded as the markets closed."

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

"A nutcracker!! Hey...this thing looks used."

Cat at the piano

Christmas with Cats

C is for Cracker

A millipede hanging up his Christmas stockings.

"I told the carol singers where to go in no uncertain terms, so that's saved us some money!"

Santa Hat Hair

'Does Santa have skype?. . . I'd like to get in some face time, so he puts me at the top of his list come December. . .'

Santa's elevator

'The Christ Child'

'You want me to gift-wrap a roll of carpet?'

Merrily covering everything in glitter...

"I'm at the office party."

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"It was never about the presents - it's about the power."

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"Excuse me, but will you be long?"

Santa Goes Hybrid.

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"The new trees were too expensive, but I got a sweet deal on this used one!"

Chimney-Greasing Santa