X-ray Pillows

'#?!@#?! Paparazzi!'

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Can you check inside it for me, Mister?"

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"How the hell should I know what I'm looking at? You're lousy insurance doesn't provide HD X-rays."

Orthopaedist

"No wonder I'm getting feedback!"

'I don't like the looks of this - there's nothing wrong.'

"I don't like the looks of that Spot on your lung."

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"The good news is your back surgery has healed perfectly. However, it looks like you may have to go back for a second exorcism!"

"Trust me I'm a Doctor."

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Alcoholic's X-Ray

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

"But the good news is I've found my watch!"

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Billy, no! Midterms are tomorrow!'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

'It's so rare you'll need your own teleton.'

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."