Writing Guru Gifts

Man reading book entitled 'How to write a self help book.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'