Writerly Wit Appreciator Gifts

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cat Burglar

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Touché"

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I love this time of year."

D. H. Lawrence

Shakespeare Project

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Anthony Trollope

"And this little poet cried ennui, ennui, ennui, all the way home."

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

Tom Bowler

'I am a robot sent from the future to stop you from creating the vampire characters. They're ruining our movies.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

Figure of Eight