Writer's Retreat Gifts

Writer's Block Party

A Good Batch.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Scurile travels

"I'm going to tell them our number one way to be stress-free is taking a day off to go fishing."

"Shall I buy you a manual typewriter and break your legs?"

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"I'm going on a retreat."

The Boys of Indian Summer

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

Monk on the beach

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Priest

Business acquaintances on holiday

"I'll just have a Diet Coke. I'm in the middle of my novel."

Welcome to the Hothouse Writer's Colony.

'Lost in the Jungle I found this Buddhist retreat...'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

"For quality control purposes, this phone call may be recorded and replayed for laughs at various office parties throughout our company."

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

"Fred, no one is going to bother you here. Put away the Bare Spray."

Go away

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."