Worship Style Critic Pillows

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Drive-thru Church

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Did you see that trimmed-up earlier than thou look on her face, just then?"

"It was a little preachy."

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

The Pope

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Dude, you like, need to get your wallet chain in check!'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

My Mom texted me to let me know she hates all the fonts she saw this week.

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'

"Son of God or not, no one comes to church dressed like that."

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

'It's definitely a 'hands-on' style of leadership.'

Trump Bible photo op

"I think it's the company logo."

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'He left me five minutes after he got his new National Health glasses.'

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Avoid boys who spend more on hair products than you do!

'I'm going to stop coming here -it's completely lost it's fresh, country atmosphere!'

Mirror, mirror, oval in shape, who's that pretentious beret-wearing ape?

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

Budget cure

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."