Worm Subscriber Gifts

'Honey, it's your worms of the month delivery!'

The Worm Charmer

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

'I could eat you.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"Earthworms are good guys, and birds are good guys—that's just life, honey."

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

"Yeah, birds are bad, but fishermen are the worst: they first stab you with a hook, then drown you to finish you off. . ."

'Where are you going?'

'What do you mean you're afraid of the dark? You're a nightcrawler.'

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"We just need more wiggle room."

"Wow! Check out the body on this one."

"Good day at work..?"

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

-You need a permit to fish here. -I'm doing okay with a worm, thank you

"You look different — did you do something to your tubercula pubertatis?"

Someday, the worm will turn.

"Slithering is okay but jumping is more fun."

'To be honest Bob, I'm very happy with my new career path.'

'Well, Dad, you said for us to use our initiative to make money so we went into the worm business.'

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

"Early Bird, you need to go easy on the worms."

Worm Appreciation Society!

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

Don't worry, it's not broken: I'm an invertebrate...

'I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything.'

Menace.

'It evens out. In my previous life I was a C.E.O.'

The happy gardener