World Of Warcraft Gifts

'His social skills have improved since he lost his job in banking.'

Putin and Zelensky

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Soldier armed with a pen.

"I said slime."

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Weather like this plagued my retreat from Moscow."

Macbeth: Take Two

GQ Magazine: Stay at Home Special.

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Traffic Cone Monsters

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

'Are you a good witch or a bad witch?'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"I really got used to working from home."

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

"Hot Pocket"

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

"It's a witch, all right. So do we burn, bake or poach it?"

'Try my health brew...1% fat, no cholesterol, high fiber and low sodium.'

The Use of Cavalry

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

American's Funniest Invasion Strategies.

Don't Worry, Joe, about Afghanistan

"I know you're allowed work from home, but do you have to work from MY home?"

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'