Workplace Separation Gifts

'We used to share a desk.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

InIn by-products.

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!