Workplace Party Gifts

'And this is one of Jeff bribing the local doctor in to supplying a sickness note for his employer.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Bo're'droom

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

That shows business confidence.

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

Party Animals.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'