Workplace Party Gifts

'And this is one of Jeff bribing the local doctor in to supplying a sickness note for his employer.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Bo're'droom

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

That shows business confidence.

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Party Animals.

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"