Work Party Gifts

Gala party. B.Y.O.L. - Bring your own lawyer.

"So who else is gonna be there?"

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"He's socially awkward but brilliant in his field."

"You should see the rangers' Christmas party... And they call us wild animals!"

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

Children's Parties

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Cow Pinatas

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."