Workplace Meme Lover Pillows

"You think you have the boss from hell?!"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

'What's wrong now?'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

'I have much less stress since I replaced my in box with a paper shredder.'

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'