Workplace Fairness Gifts

All non-union workers ask for and can expect is a fair shake.

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

Women's day - 'work'

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

"No windows, but there's a glass ceiling."

"We need to hire a few good men, and by 'men' I mean women and men."

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

'What you have to understand, Ms. Titmus, is your glass ceiling is my glass floor.'

'Interesting. Anyone else like to share a 'glass ceiling horror story'?'

The struggle for a decent payment.

'I'll be happy to put my best man on it, Mr. Orton... but my best man happens to be a woman.'

Really Good Careers: An Equal Opportunity Employer

Where Did My Love Go?

Male & Female separate company buildings

"Personally, Figgis, I'm all in favour of your new gender identity, especially as we can now pay you 30% less."

"We need to hire more women."

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

We are an equal opportunities employer - It's true. They pay the same lousy wages to men and women.

'You both do equal work, but Hargrove here LOOKS busier.'

"Finally I've been given some real authority. I get to choose what roast we order."

'A ceiling? All this time I thought it was a floor.'

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

Goldilock tried the third chair and it was juuust right.

What to disclose at a job interview

'Why are you only paying me 77% of the amount my male counterparts are getting?'