Workplace Equality Gifts

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'A ceiling? All this time I thought it was a floor.'

'Our standards are very high. We even have high double standards.'

'I want to complain about sexual harassment.' - 'You know you're beautiful when you're angry.'

"So we're agreed then - there's no need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment policies."

'What you have to understand, Ms. Titmus, is your glass ceiling is my glass floor.'

"I don't know why we aren't retaining our female staff...I mean we do everything we can to make the little darlings feel they can be as good as the chaps."

Goldilock tried the third chair and it was juuust right.

'My thanks to Oliver for ensuring we meet this board's quota of women.'

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

'Look, I agree that you deserve the same salary as your male counterparts, but I have a responsibility to defend the traditional pay structure.'

Women's day equality.

'Interesting. Anyone else like to share a 'glass ceiling horror story'?'

'We are fully committed to stamping out sexism so we really want you to see yourself as one of the chaps.'

'Tell me do we actually employ anybody who isn't a protected species ?'

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

'At least! I get to find out what's above the glass ceiling!'

'I've never worked for a woman...should I call you Debbie or Ms. Enright?'

"My Dear Lady, what a perfectly charming idea! I wonder which of us gentlemen put it into your attractive little head."

"HR tells us that we're getting a bad press about how many women the firm employs...we need to act now...does anyone need a new secretary?"

Nuns - "I hit the stained glass ceiling."

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

"So that's agreed then, we don't need to make any changes to our equal opportunities employment practices!"

'Not a problem. On what they pay us, I can't afford lunch.'

"We've had complaints from HR that we only appoint middle aged white men!"

'Until you joined us, Stanley, there were no dumb questions!'

'Would suit a school leaver...I am a school leaver, I left school in 1968!'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

One fly to another: 'She hit the glass ceiling.'

"To retain our staus as an equal opportunities employer...."

"Your policy of equal pay for equal work is commendable, but my work is superior."

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."

"If you are paying us like penguins don't expect us to fly like reindeers."

'I'll be happy to put my best man on it, Mr. Orton... but my best man happens to be a woman.'

'Boss, I feel discriminated against. My department manager gropes every female colleague except me!'