Employment Fairness Gifts

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

Businesswoman Empowerment

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

Women's day - 'work'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"No windows, but there's a glass ceiling."

"We need to hire a few good men, and by 'men' I mean women and men."

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

'What you have to understand, Ms. Titmus, is your glass ceiling is my glass floor.'

'Interesting. Anyone else like to share a 'glass ceiling horror story'?'

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

'I'll be happy to put my best man on it, Mr. Orton... but my best man happens to be a woman.'

The struggle for a decent payment.

Really Good Careers: An Equal Opportunity Employer

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

Equal opportunities inspector "I hear he got his job because he knew someone"

"Finally I've been given some real authority. I get to choose what roast we order."

Where Did My Love Go?

We are an equal opportunities employer - It's true. They pay the same lousy wages to men and women.

'The problem is, you don't take enough pride in your temporary, no benefit, below living wage job!'

Male & Female separate company buildings

"We need to hire more women."

"Personally, Figgis, I'm all in favour of your new gender identity, especially as we can now pay you 30% less."

'A ceiling? All this time I thought it was a floor.'