Workplace Diversity Officers Gifts

Women Have To Choose

Businesswoman Empowerment

Inclusive speech

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

All Hail the Matriarchy

Glass Ceiling

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"That's a very good suggestion, perhaps one of the men would like to make it?"

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

"On a show of hands, do we let Miss Brimshaw into our den."

'Remember the old days, when all of this was phallocentric?'

'Another thing?never use the term 'touchy-feely' as a negative.'

"This is our new head of conflict resolution."

Women's day - 'work'

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

Sales and Diversity

"People are always banging on about the advantages of 'so-called' diversity."

'Oh, you'll love working here. Nobody treats you any differently just becuase of your age, race, or gender.'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

"I feel your pain. It's the least I can do for not paying you like a man."

Joan hits the glass ceiling: 'Sorry, but I've decided to go with Wally of Arc...'

"Unfortunately my boss would rather that I show femur instead of backbone."