Workplace Culture Fan Pillows

Boss has No Parking sign placed in middle of office.

"Welcome back. You didn't miss much while you were off, besides a bit of speculation about what kind of outpatient procedure you had."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Staff support"

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Do Not Resuscitate

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Bo're'droom

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'I give this one about three months...'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

Desk sign: "Yes, sir"

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

Employee of the Month Parking

Meet Grant, he came up through the ranks.