Workplace Culture Buff Pillows

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

'Sure, you can grow a beard... I like my male staffers to do things that help them with their natural inadequacies.'

'Once the rug cleaners are done, you can go and mark your new office.'

"How’s the coffee, Harding?"

"Sadly, office gossip lags a bit after these business ethics seminars."

'We can't let the girl on work experience go, she is the only one who can change a ink cartridge.'

"It was just a little setback - but the boss had away of making seem much larger."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Staff support"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

Do Not Resuscitate

Bo're'droom

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Does your mother know you keep a messy office?'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

'I give this one about three months...'

'Here comes the boss. Quick, look busy!'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'