Workplace Assessment Pillows

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

InIn by-products.

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."