Workplace Assessment Pillows

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'What's wrong now?'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

National Boss Monument.

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

Concerned that she would be passed over for a promotion if management knew she was pregnant, Donna concealed the fact.

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

InIn by-products.

"Barlow, it's come to my attention that you've called in, 'Playing Possum' 8 days this month."

'Productivity is up. Lay off a couple of more employees.'