Workout Wizard T-Shirts

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Body Building Mishap

What gym did you say you're coming from?

'I think we better get started on that other arm.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"We only got six days of funding."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Lovely dovetail."

Took On Too Much

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Targets.

Waiting for retirement.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

"When did this game get started?"

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

I got the raise

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

The night before the big meeting Frank receives a visit from the PowerPoint Fairy

'I hope this is not a reflection on the staff, but the management has asked me to dumb it down.'