Workout Whiz Gifts

Exercise Car.

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Multi-tasking.

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

'My dog ate my computer.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"The results are impressive, but it'll be decades before we can transmit and receive pornography."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"After a long day at the office writing business software...Bob loves to relax writing game software."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Those enormous worldwide internet communities.'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"I love the fact that you're a computer genius, Erwin. I just don't like fact that you look like one."

Computer making faces behind owner's back.

"What's that you're reading?"

"I'm starting slowly with a trainer who just stands around talking about his personal life."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

I've always been slower than computers...

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'