Workday Rebel Gifts

'Someone complained to management about our long coffee breaks.'

While the boss is on holiday Harrison is evidently taking over for him.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"I think he's overreacting a little when it comes to controlling his employees."

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Do not think outside the box!

Casual Thursday

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"It drives me mad when people act as though we had nothing to do except write moronic memorandum..."

'Sleep on your face again, Phil?'

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

'Sorry, you failed the aptitude test.' -'Thankfully I own the company.'

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'The company was quite generous. They gave me a whole day off for the funeral.'

"Damn! I keep waking up in the middle of the day."

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

"The holidays are finished George, get over it!"

'Misery is sleeping in late on Saturday morning then realizing it's only Wednesday...'

'They traded their 'Casual Fridays' for 'Immature Mondays' . '

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

"What time is it mentally?"

"If I could quit tomorrow, I'd be gone yesterday."

'We've got trouble, Henderson - Your people got with my people and decided they didn't need us.'

Do not feed the clerks.

I stamped out smiley faces in your handwritten memos, and by George, I'll do the same with emoticons in your emails!

"I pride myself on being able to walk that fine line between misdemeanor and felony."

"Yeah? Well, tell him that in this company Gandhi-like resistance wouldn't have worked for Gandhi, either."