Work-related Illness Gifts

'In my capacity as your G.P, I've written you out a new style fit note.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"We need a union!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Time Out For Teddy

"You will bargain away what little integrity you have left for what little job security you can gain."

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'Yeah, I slipped on a banana skin too...'

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'He refused to climb the ladder without a safety net.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

'How can they call it a shared sacrifice in this bad economy...when your pay cut was 10% and mine, 25%?!'

The Hive, Inc. Think safety! 17 days without a honey boo-boo.

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

Labor Day '19

Wear a helmet

No Smoking.

"Is that legal? Can the old man force me to take a performance-enhancing drug."

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

A case of runaway forklift Doctor. Do we offer him any compensation?

First Aid Box