Work-life Balance Humor Gifts

'I'm feeling much better, sir... in fact, I'm able to sit up and take nourishment.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

Golfing Boss

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

Work Parfait

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Born In Captivity.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

'Being offshored isn't exactly what I expected.'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"How do you do it, hon? Marriage, kids, civic responsibilities, managing a multi-million dollar business and still finding time to do an 18-month stretch for securities fraud?"

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'