Work-life Balancer Gifts

'A career? A life? Isn't that a conflict of interest?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

"It's come to my attention, Wycliff, that you're actually planning a life outside the office."

Workaholic Hotline - 'Come on now, you can do it. Just put down those annual reports and slowly back away...'

"Everyone I know has a crazy long commute."

'And this is the only performance indicator that's moving up. Unfortunately, it's my blood pressure.'

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

Interviewee: 'Nah, work related stress isn't a problem - I've never taken a job seriously enough for it to bother me!'

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

Careers advisor

'And then, get this: she tells me I compartmentalize my feelings!'

'I'm a wife, a daughter, a working mother...and you're asking me if I can MULTI-TASK???'

"Ever feel like there just isn't enough time in the day to delegate all the things you want done?"

'At 10:00 you'll be deleting spam. At 10:15 you'll be forwarding jokes. At 10:35 you'll be playing online poker. At noon...'

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

'I call it laziness - He calls it stress management.'

"One day you're fine, the next you're no longer responding to market demands."

Dave - We need you back at the office.

Time Slavery.

"It's the old man's idea. Reckons his young executives should see more of their families."

"Bixby, of COURSE you need to get a life...just don't take it outside the office."

"I take it your vacation starts tomorrow?"

'What makes you think I'm not at my desk?'

"Honey, you're home."

Trapped in his office by clutter.

'I need a continuance, your Honor.'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"Oh yeah? Well, your dad makes more, but my dad's not stuck in a high-paying job he hates but is too scared to leave."

Professional man hurdling

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

Getting through the week.

'You get 104 personal day. They're called Saturdays and Sundays.'

"In this office we work hard and we play hard, Timpkins"