Work Break Whiz Gifts

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Working Holiday

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

Temporarily Unavailable

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

You're a workaholic, Jan.

'Can I thank everybody for their attention, I think we're finished.'

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

"Sorry, sweetie, but I have the conference room booked for the next hour."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"That must be the new 'sit-work' desk."

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

It is a little odd, I have come to a place completely off the grid to recharge my batteries.

"I'm sorry I'm away from my desk, but it's still in my thoughts."

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

Peaceful holiday

'I'm taking a year off to just migrate.'

"George was only interested in mega-bytes, so I got him this rottweiler..."

The Smug Unemployed Monkey

He's back from retirement as a consultant.