Career Break Enthusiast Gifts

"I've been fired from my last five jobs."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Working Holiday

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Planned service changes

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

"Any yet he's always on my case."

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

It is a little odd, I have come to a place completely off the grid to recharge my batteries.

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

"It's his creative time."

The Smug Unemployed Monkey