Career Break Enthusiast Pillows

"I've been fired from my last five jobs."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

Working Holiday

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"No thanks, I brought my lunch."

Job satisfaction comes from doing what you enjoy, without the boss finding out.

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

Planned service changes

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Stress Clinic: 'Stepped out to smell the roses.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

'My stretch goal for this year is to get 52 weekly paychecks.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

'-Must remember to empty that...'

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'It's nice to have a break isn't it.'

Workaholics anonymous open all day every day.

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

"It's his creative time."

'You're lucky, Ted. You're the only one around here who doesn't get treated like a number.'

'I'm taking a year off to just migrate.'

The Smug Unemployed Monkey