Work-a-holic Chuckler Gifts

"Hold on, I just have to send a P-mail."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"We're looking for a workaholic with another job that'll provide the pension and health benefits we don't provide."

Death Boss

'Once again you have exceeded my expectations.'

Phil, I'm just too depleted to function. I need to take the afternoon off and recharge my batteries.

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"Sounds like you've got a great vacation planned...with plenty of down-time for the conference calls I'm planning."

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

'Are these billable hours?'

'Miss Barnes, cancel my appointments. If I start swimming now, I can be back in the office in a few weeks.'

"Don't think of it as being laid off, think of it as a cure for your workaholicism."

Vacation Mobile

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

"If you work real hard and are willing to put in the hours, the sky's the limit."

Gone out...here is a computer simulation of your dinner

Business Vacation.

"Tell me about the sunshine, George."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

'Your resume is quite impressive. However, I'm a little concerned about you biting your last four bosses.'

"We are looking for temps, but I'm afraid you're too temp for us."

'I question his commitment since his ulcer isn't bleeding.'

"I'm sorry Perkins, but dying at your desk is a strict breach of company policy!"

"I don't think I'll go in today. I just dreamed a whole day's work, including lunch."

'Scoutmasters aren't usually used as references.'

Contractor Ants

'I've always been so busy, I've never taken the time to stop and smell one.'

"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."

"I was married to my job for years, and now, all of a sudden, I'm paying ALIMONY to it!"

"First his cell phone died and then he died."