Wordsmiths Of Love Gifts

Pedantic romantic.

Campaign for Plain English

Reading my Critics

I think you're ace

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Ruddy bloggers!

'He was a great writer'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Jorge Luis Borges

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

"Caption contest"

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Intellectual Foreplay...

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Weapens of Mass Instruction

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Collected works

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."