Wordsmiths Of Love Prints

Pedantic romantic.

Campaign for Plain English

Reading my Critics

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Ruddy bloggers!

'He was a great writer'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Jorge Luis Borges

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

"Caption contest"

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

Intellectual Foreplay...

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

Weapens of Mass Instruction

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'