Wordplay Warriors T-Shirts

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"I want you to come up with a new word to define 'profits'."

Please Keep off the Grass...

'Now try not to let this fella get in too close. He has a huge Right Cross.'

I heard you were well sick.

"From now on my name is Turkiye, not Turkey anymore!"

"I'm alone, cowboy."

Watering Can

Wordilly Durdillies - 'The Swedes that you can eat between meals...

Flour pot, sugar pot, tea pot, pot.

'ROSES!'

Army officer visiting optometrist having a reading test - Boom, kaboom, wham, pow pow, bang bang.

'I'm just surfing the web.'

"Your online dating profile said you were a really big dill. I thought it was a typo."

“Ok, first word … sounds like dimmer. Swimmer? Glimmer!”

"It's a pluot—an apricot that self-identifies as a plum."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Staff support"

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Copycats

Zombie standup

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.