Woodlands T-Shirts

'We don't need helicopter vision, Manfred. We need a helicopter.'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

Wildlife

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Welcome Spring.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"I brought cocoa."

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

"Stag poker"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Tree Funeral

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."