Woodlands T-Shirts

'We don't need helicopter vision, Manfred. We need a helicopter.'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

Wildlife

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Welcome Spring.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"I brought cocoa."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Stag poker"

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Tree Funeral

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'