Woodland T-Shirts

"You idiot. That’s the dog whistle — where’s the mouse whistle?!"

Wildlife

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

Welcome Spring.

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"I brought cocoa."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Tree Funeral

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'You sure complain a lot for someone who says he loves nature.'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'Mum, it's not fair: The principal said I was not allowed to take nuts to school anymore...'

'it's the last bite that worries me.'