Woodland Tale Weaver Gifts

Crow and fox

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I brought cocoa."

Writers without borders.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

Kirsten Johnson

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Tree Funeral

'Is this your first book launch?'

Deer Crossing Traffic Signs You Don't Often See.