Woodland Tale Weaver Gifts

Crow and fox

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Lennon and McCartney.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"I brought cocoa."

Writers without borders.

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"Oh, yeah? Well, you smell nice!"

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

Come on Darling: Surely, you don't need a sledgehammer to crack a nut...

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Kirsten Johnson

Tree Funeral

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

'Is this your first book launch?'