Tall Tale Weaver Gifts

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

'When we get back this trip is going to need some embroidering.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Fishing Tales

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

'It was this big. I swear'

Crow and fox

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

Ted Hughes

"You should've seen the triceratops that got away. It had to be this...um...this...uh...well, it was huge."

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Better than Chekhov"

"Am I boring you, kid?"