Tall Tale Weaver Gifts

'I'll have three of those trout, but throw them to me. . . I want to tell the wife I caught them.'

'When we get back this trip is going to need some embroidering.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Bob woke up in a pile of notes, some scrawled so quickly that no one could decode them. He remembered nothing of the night before, except... yes, a fleeting glimpse of the writer's moon.

Fishing Boat Derby

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'It was this big. I swear'

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"...and the dung was this big!.... No...elephant, actually."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Men reading Tall Stories, and Short Stories in a Library

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

A Salmon Lie

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

"Better than Chekhov"

Bedtime Story

"Am I boring you, kid?"