Woke Conversationists Pillows

"I've used 'Systemic Racism', 'White Privilege', 'Post-Racial Society' and 'Marginalized'"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

'I preferred it before you started taking Prozac.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"I'm going to Afghanistan. . . "

'And he's so-o-o-o knowledgeable about wine. He must have spent an hour telling me about his trip to Chardonnary.'

Not quite Beverly Hills.

"What is it about us that makes only crazy people want to talk to us?"

'Did someone forget to circle before dinner.'

"Not to be a killjoy, but this happened on our property. Are liable?"

'I chase women, but only to tell them about investment opportunities.'

"There's a smidgen of Charlie Rose about you."

“I think you’ve had enough.”

Men telling stories

"I've got what it takes to take what you've got."

"I detect an accent — one that's down on its luck and has had too much to drink."

'Say 'Nessage in a gottle.' one more time and I'm putting you back in your box.'

"We could always adopt, like, 50 little bunnies from Asia."

"Actually, I'm not a New York Yankees fan. I'm a New York Yankees cap fan."

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

Doctor's advice.

"Well, I can't stay chatting like this . . . better finish taking the dog for his walk!"