Wizkid Supporter Pillows

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

Applause

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

"There's an app that helped me finish grades 3 through 7. If you need me, I'll be in my room playing video games for the next few years."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

"He's a whiz kid."

"Somebody has screwed-up the seating arrangements" - Seating is an optical illusion.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'Timmy's very bright for his age. He knows nearly all his ABC's!'

'Well, here it is, but I don't see any pot.'

'Hi Peter, it's Chris Tarrant here, from 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?''

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"'I hate Taylor Swift'? Way to lose a lot of the young vote."

Small store loses out to glossy big store

This is your soul we're talking about, Mr Bagley! Please stop shouting 'DEAL OR NO DEAL' all the time!

'He wants to be the best pianist in the world.'

Barnum & Bailey's 3 - ring progeny

"Missing elf"

Shop Local

'And we can count to eight. That's more than you can say for them.'

"Economic news? Are you kidding me? I'll give you some economic news. I'm driving a '92 Kia with no muffler, supporting my boyfriend until his standup career takes off, and paying for 2 implants. Do you know the sign for 'desperate'?"

'Exams are not like they were in my day.'

Buckaroo Rogers

“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”

'You see Mum, I've modified your FM-radio to be powered straight from the electric fence...'

Football Hooligans