Tech Whizkid Pillows

"What a day. I played tag, a yucky girl kissed me, and I got the school's computers back online."

"Google car."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

Evolution.

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Multi-tasking.

"It seems as if the people taking my software class are getting younger and younger."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"I accidentally hit 3 keys and then hit enter. CTRL + Z didn't get rid of it. Can we keep it as a pet?"

Man doing a search on a computer

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

If Disney was a software company

'My dog ate my computer.'

Why do you need so many computers?

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!