Tech Wizard Pillows

"The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that converts hindsite into foresight."

"We tried six speakers, then twelve, and finally we put in the Pittsburgh Symphony, yet we still feel something is lacking."

'The boss wants me to create a computer algorithm that can convert hindsight into foresight.'

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'

'Is it my imagination or are entrepreneurs getting younger.'

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

'And then Dmitri noticed something that would have a profound effect on the human/robot wars.'

'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'

'Rather than learning how to solve that, shouldn't I be learning how to operate software that can solve that?'

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

"I'm obsessed with protecting all my data, so I encrypted myself."

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

"Someone hacked into his account. It's the third time this month he's renamed his cat."

'I'm a software engineer, so I can confirm it works by magic.'

"If there's a way in, they'll find it."

"Have you tried turning it off and throwing it out the window?"

"Broadband...yeah, it's great, now our totally useless website loads even faster."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Mr. Smith, cars used to have steering wheels, right?'

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

'Yeah, we don't need marionette strings anymore. Everything is done with bluetooth!'

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

'OK, first of all, have you tried slamming the keyboard down, whacking the top of the monitor and shouting WORK! DAMN YOU! WORK!'

'Eureka! I found a way to convert spam into electricity!'

At long last, true artificial intelligence. 'The heck with this. Let's go fishing!'

'Yes, it is the new printer...and yes, it works by magic.'

'Twenty - seven 'D' batteries, please, and hurry!'

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

"I've managed to get hold of one of those 'all for one ad one for all' remote controls."

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Sometimes I wish they'd never perfected setless television."

'We need to upgrade our tech help from my 12 year old nephew.'

'I will now peek into your future, David...'