Tech Wizards Pillows

'I see you majored in hacking with a minor in industrial sabotage? You're just what we're looking for.'

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

"So who is this First pet?"

He'll be fine after you reboot him, I've replaced his memory stick.

"As a last resort Tom's trying a mind-meld!"

"My phone has advanced GPS. I not only know where I am, but also who, what, why, when and how I am."

Scan And Repair

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

"We can have someone there in a few minutes to help you with your computer. Can you have a mattress outside to soften his landing?"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

"I tried fixing the computer myself. As soon as a professional fixes all the damage I caused, we can use it."

"Honey, the toaster is down, but it's already alerted the oven to pre-heat and broil your muffins."

A robot makes a binary joke.

STRIP Hambone: Computer language

'This is my multi application cell phone, it does all my work. I just hit OK button!'

Texting Addicts Anonymous

'Would you believe it was an evil robot from the future?'

"I don't care that he's an e-commerce whatever. How dare he offer ME a job?"

"Ladies and Gentlemen! For my next trick, I will attempt to correctly remember my password..."

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"Mum! - T.S. Eliot - 'Humankind cannot bear much reality'."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Man doing a search on a computer

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'