Wizard Apprentice Pillows

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'See how the fools flee when fantasy role-play is fantasy no longer!'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'She's still a novice yet.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

Fellow Sheep of the Ring

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Fairy tale

'... No, you're not on the short list. You're not even on the long list.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Oh well, I'm off the see the orthopedist."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Right! It's a heart op, neurosurgery and counselling. And I'll have the Wiz"

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'